Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
