Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
