I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
