he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize