I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
that is very illegal...i love you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
