Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
