Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
