i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
