Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize