You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
