Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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