ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
