he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my shit smells like andre
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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