TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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