your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize