24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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