It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
