i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
