My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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