ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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