bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
