Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
