You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
