So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
