Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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