it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
