I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
