Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
