He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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