I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Randomize
