Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
