I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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