I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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