So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
