his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
