She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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