we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
