I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
