Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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