Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize