I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
