I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Randomize
