We won't sleep together?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
