We should be called the Road Head Warriors
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
