Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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