he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
