Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
