I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
