Just fell off a train. Bad.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
