I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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