i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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