I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize