Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize