Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
