Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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