does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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