I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
