Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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