She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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