have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
