I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
