So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
