My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
