I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
