I'm really into asian looking animals
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
