Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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